dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
how does that bad decision feel?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
