How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
