Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
