Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
