I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
