Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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