are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
