Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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