who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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