If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
