I just saw a hot homeless man
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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