just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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