mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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