I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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