It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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