Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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