I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
