why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
