Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
you made out with another girl for some wings
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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