Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
