I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
