I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
