I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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