I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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