90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So many bounce houses so little time
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
