It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Randomize
