By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
