If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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