Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
