i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
