No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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