There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
