And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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