I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
