he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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