can u get pink eye on your cock?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
