You're a womanizer and a bitch.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
