woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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