I can't watch pbs sober anymore
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Randomize
