how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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