I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
