My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
