Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
