so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
