It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
