Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
