so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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