she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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