i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
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