Sry I called you an 8
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
