he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize