I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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