Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
