Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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