she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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