She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize