We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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