It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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