You just made me feel so damn special
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
