New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
