I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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