I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
