it glows. i had to have it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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