Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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