I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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